I'm friendly and understanding and don't pre-judge people. Kisses from Erikki. I think toms are beautiful just like many other people and it's not a phase or a fashion trend, for some it may just be a stepping stone to being comfortable with their true identity just as many people try out different labels and pronouns.
For all you tom bashers just know the chance between you and a tom getting a partner is infinity to none tom getting the girl not you. Lets face it toms are sexy, know all the right spots for female genetalia, understand women and are overall better people as they aren't bashing anyone but embracing them. All the ones I've met - several - hate men, rob each other blind and are too shy to have sex.
At the end of the day you have a very average looking girl with short hair, hairy legs and underarms, chews with mouth open, dresses like a slob and is generally lax on any housework. I don't get the appeal? Looking for a Tom for friendship, I am male English teacher wanting to have student teach for free. Is it just me, or would it be easiest to just look at this the same way we look at transgender folk in the US and UK?
Toms are simply people who were born with a female body, but don't really identify with being a girl. They feel more comfortable living as men. So, they try to make their outward appearance as male as possible, they date women, they do guy stuff. It seems that if they want to me seen as men, maybe we should just treat them like men. In case this needs to be said, someone's biological sex and their gender are two different things. Biological sex is your physical anatomy, but gender is social and what pronouns you prefer and use.
If someone refers to themselves as he, then for all social purposes, he's a guy. Unless you are having sex with that person, what falls in between their legs is really none of your business. I absolutely agree, Randy. Though it seems there is a lot more switching back and forth in the Tom community when compared with the transgender and gay communities, in that many everyday girls are switching to being a Tom for a while, and then switching back and dating guys again later down the line, so perhaps many are bisexual - or is there a "fad" aspect in some cases to this as many suggest.
The reverse is true too, in that everyday girls suddenly switch from dating guys to dating a Tom for a while, but at the same time do not consider themselves bisexual or gay. It's interesting, but as you correctly say, what people do in the bedroom is up to them. Incidently, ladyboys do use the womens bathroom like a lady. Toms think they are men.
Most toms hate men I have to say I haven't noticed, Brad. But ladyboys do indeed use the ladies. That said, it tends to be ladyboys that fully take on the identity of a woman, not necessarily a sex change, but certainly the dress , hair and makeup. Those still in a transitional stage often still use the men's - not that I'm an expert, lol. Transgender men are different from toms Well as we all know Toms tomboys, dykes, lesbians Well different Some dress masculine toms, tomboys, dykes, masculine lesbians some dress feminine femme, feminine lesbians At the end of the day They also accept their bodies Let me put in some facts here; I'm a Thai girl and there are a couple of Toms in my family, they are my aunts technically and older than forty.
They live with their longtime girlfriends for more than a decade now. No they didn't get married, they just live together and everybody knows and accepts it. So it's not a fad, though part of it is because we have a lot of all-girls and all-boys schools in Bangkok especially. If you ask most of the girls who went to an all-girls school, they'd say they have had relationship with Toms before. It's teen fashion and even more acceptable when they're teenagers because parents know they're just having fun and it's better than they go out with boys and get pregnant though they might prefer they don't do it at all.
But after graduated, some well, a lot never grows out of it and stays true. I also used to date both Toms and boys. Have you ever seen an interracial tom and nontom couple? I can't say I have, no. Have you? I have myself seen a Thai tom with an Aussie dyke. Total mind flook. Saw a couple today as I was eating, had no idea what was going on and gave "tom boy" a quick Google.
Thanks for posting this, Chris has a point though, never seen older Toms in my 2 years of living here. I've seen quite a few old Toms out and about.
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They tend to have let themselves go a tad though; overweight possibly from taken hormones and without the angelic, albeit boyish, look the younger Toms have. There's a fair few famous Toms too - Google these names: Toms have always been around but it hasn't always been accepted like it is now. Bangkok, being the thriving "anything goes" city that it is has really paved the way for Toms to express themselves openly in their relationships.
That said, it does seem that more and more single Thai women, fed up with useless, cheating men, are turning to relationships with Toms. Hi Nice to meet you. Asian looking for a white guy for fun — 28 Bangkok. Looking for a white guy to make me feel good, someone who knows how to use his gifts. Baby Sissyboy with hot body — 24 Bangkok. Long or short time is ok with me. We will so fun together Im bottom …. White guy fantasy — 33 Sathorn. For pure fun — 33 Sathorn. I look like a girl but I don t cross dressed. Weekend Fun — 33 Sathorn. If you re into like me, please send me a message.
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I ve got a nice 7 dick too and love to reciprocate, 69 etc. You host. Long term meet weekly. Please be in BKK. It doesn't matter. It's not important. Never mind. Scott, I'm not saying any of the posts here are not important; I'm just suggesting "How little we know. Maybe at the beach, a nice multimillion baht beach condo, yeah.
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I think Topchinese is right, I'm in Los Angeles, and I'm seeing more and more Asian with Asian couples but that is because there is only a few decent Rice Queens in the whole city, with most of them older. I see the younger guys trying to date Asians , but then getting tired of all the "games" then moving on to other nationalities.
Just look at the numbers. Are you sure that the dating habits of Americans albeit that they have Asian ancestors somewhere along the line is a valid comparison? I agree with this based on my own experience. I've seen the same here where I am now. The idealised form of thai male beauty judging from the media seems to be a trim well built Thai with caucasian features. A lot of Thai guys are working towards that and getting more buffed up. Most professional guys in BKK are becoming more aware of keeping in good shape and working out.
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And they are increasingly expect their mates to be in a similar shape and taking care of themselves. You see that change in the crowd in Babylon around that meat market pool. The emphasis is on trim muscled guys who look great in speedos. I can attest to this personally.. I also feel that most Thai guys are increasingly less interested in older white guys as they discover new avenues of meeting other Thai guys.
Even the oft-lauded Thai tolerance towards men who are not in good shape or respect for the older male have eroded over time. A GWM friend in his 50s had experienced this at a dark room in a sauna frequented by thai men who prefer thai men. He was literally shoved away and fell down on his knees. Not pretty. Of course, we have to acknowledge that we are all susceptible to stereotyping and sweeping generalisations since most of our experiences shared here in this forum are strictly anecdotal anyway.
What do you mean by "older" farang? I know a number of farang in their late twenties to late thirties living here. What do you mean by "rich" farang? I know a number of foreigners who own condos of various qualities in various cities, and live pretty well by their own and others' standards. And what's wrong if they're not that rich? The U. I believe we've just past the benchmark where the majority of American citizens will NOT own their own homes before they retire. And I guess some people won't believe anything until he's shoved onto the floor amidst used condoms and casted aside like an old shoe.
Oh well No, I don't believe that casual sex in a gay sauna is anywhere near indicative of the general state of relationships between Thai and farang. Let's hope it's not true! Once a relationship gets settled one would hope that neither partner is going on furtive sorties to the gay sauna for casual sex. I can't think of anything more sordid, and am surprised TopChinese's gay white friend put up with such conduct.
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I am not sure that TC's anecdotal materiel from Babylon really counts. He, not being Thai, can pretty well only remark on what it is like being "New-Meat" and a foriegner there. I think it is highly suspect to assume too much about Thai society if you don't speak the language and live in it for a considerable period of time. As for the OP His friend's experience at a "sauna frequented by Thai men who prefer Thai men" is unfortunate but not at all surprising.
I often go to 2 different saunas like that in the afternoon to swim, have a beer. I do get cruised pretty often at those places and find it flattering, and assume like going to a barbershop But frankly I go for a swim and a light work-out and a couple of beers then head home.
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Getting laid is just a way low priority ;-. I have always held that people on average are attracted to like Whites date whites That's the status quo everywhere I have ever been. There are exceptions as I have noted before and I am greatful to be living in Thailand where the numbers are so far in my favor.
However, at home I'd likely be doing what I did when I lived there.